The Way We Think About Non-Profits…

A friend of mine who is a missionary that raises support for their church planting efforts overseas shared this Ted Talk with me.  It struck a chord with me that the numbers of non-profits that are working to grow their organization could be seeing much bigger results if they would break free from the “scarcity/self-imposed poverty mindset.   The principles of abundance can propel ministries to levels not yet realized or even dreamed of.

Please watch this and email your thoughts back to me at

I look forword to hearing from you!

Navigating Change

I recently received and instant messenger notification from one of my old college buddies. Our relationship went all the way back to 1985 when we were in the drum line together in marching band at Kearney State College (now called the University of Nebraska at Kearney).   I was able to catch up with him on the phone and take a few moments to have one of those long conversations with a true friend.    I consider this guy one of the best dads that I know. Let me tell you why.

When we were in college,  we were convinced that we had life under control.  Our futures were planned, and we knew exactly where we would end up.

So. Not. True.

Landing that great first job, finding and marrying the girls of our dreams, buying a house and settling down… we were convinced these things would just happen.    But none of us could predict what would lie ahead.

This dream world scenario only “happens” to a minority of people. For the majority, it takes every ounce of energy, strength, determination, guts, and grit to make ends meet and open the door to the futures that we want.  For some,  roadblocks become obstacles that seem nearly impossible to overcome.   For this friend, those obstacles became opportunities to find ways to overcome and succeed in life and parentIng.

About 10 years into their marriage, my friend’s wife decided that she was done with their relationship, and moved to another state taking their young son with her.    Through all of his efforts to keep their marriage together, she was determined to go in a different direction.    He was devastated.   Not only because his marriage didn’t work out, but because he would now be nearly 1000 miles away from his son at a crucial time in the young boy’s life.

Rather than choosing to be passive and have to find ways to maintain a long-distance relationship with his one and only child, he made the hard decision to move.    Uprooting every bit of security he had built up through the years, he chose to be near his son in order to maintain the relationship that would be needed from his father.

The choice to intentionally navigate change, whatever the cost, is one of the bravest decisions any man will ever make.    He sold everything he had and downsized to the point where all of his possessions would fit into his mid-sized four-door car.    With cash in hand, car packed to the windows, and several prospective job leads in his email inbox, he headed out into an unknown new life.

Talk about courage!

All of this was done so that his son would be able to say, “My dad, no matter what the cost, did everything possible to make sure he was a part of my life!”

This friend is someone that I consider to be one of the strongest, most brave,  and most Christlike guys I know. He sacrificed everything to maintain and invest in a relationship with his son!

Many people, under far less daunting circumstances, have thrown in the towel and given up in defeat. My hope is that others will use this story as a turning point to make the decision to navigate change no matter what the cost.

Now, four years later, his ex-wife has decided to move to yet another part of the country. This did not take my friend by surprise.    Once again, he will have to choose to navigate change with strength, courage and undaunted fortitude.

I am so blessed to call this man friend!

What is the next big change you are navigating in life?  Let me encourage you to focus your heart in prayer, and take the next step toward your BEST future.






4 Steps toward your BEST relationship EVER!

Here is the B.E.S.T acronym that I have used since 1988 to help me have the best marriage possible. This was shared with me by a mentor/professor named Forrest Arnold.  I was taking a summer course at Central Bible College during my 6-month engagement to Tricia. I have told this to countless men who have shared great stories of success after putting these things into daily use. Their wives have even said things to me like, “Wow! Who is this new man and what did he do with my old husband!” You’ve probably heard me say these before, but it is because it works!

B – Bless your wife every day by taking her to God. Pray with her and share what the Lord has spoken in your heart through the Word that day. No matter how large or small an effort you personally put in, take her to the Lord each day. It doesn’t have to be a big, planned time of devotions… she just needs to know that YOU are spending time with God. This will set in her heart that God has made you the priest of the home. This will open you up to all the blessing that He has in store for your family.

E – Encourage your wife each day by telling her how much you appreciate her. Things like…”The outfit looks amazing on you!” or “Honey, thanks for how hard you work at: mothering our kids/working on your education/keeping our house together/etc.” These words of encouragement are vital in helping your wife to feel appreciated for the effort she puts in each day to keep things running in the home and staying pretty for YOU. Make her day by noticing the little things. This will yield BIG results!

S – Share intimate conversation with her every day. These conversations must have nothing to do with physical intimacy. It is all about sharing who you are as a person. When you come home at the end of the day and she asks how your day went, don’t just say, “fine.” She needs to know how you FEEL about what went on during the day…who you met, how you felt about your interactions with people…what were you excited or frustrated about during the day. She wants to be involved in your life. Almost all men have difficulty initiating this kind of conversation. It does not come naturally to us. Women, however, are relational creatures. This kind of conversation flows from them without even having to think about it. I have found that I must concentrate and focus hard to make this happen. I would rather just shut down at the end of the day and relax or find something to distract me from the day. But she has been waiting all day for the moment when she can connect with you! Don’t hold back on meeting this need! It will take an effort to recall and put into words what went on in your life that day, but the words will be like gold and silver to her ears.

T – Touch your wife every day with no expectation of return. This is one of the most challenging areas for a guy. We are quick to let our hands wander to the “hot zones” without even thinking about it. But you’ve got to remind yourself that our wives’ interpretation of touch is very different from ours. She needs you to touch her, and touch her often! But before you can EVER go to the hot zones, you have to hold her hand, open her door, caress her arm, put your hand on the small of her back when you walk through a door together, run your fingers through her hair, touch her face when you kiss her… but stay away from the “zones” during the day. Do all these things and do them often, but don’t give her the signal that you are expecting more. When a touch is given freely with no strings attached, the rest will come much more readily. We often go straight from dinner to what might happen in the bedroom later. She likely has many emotional hurdles to cross before her heart will ever get to where your hands are straying. The pressure of touch with expectation often has the opposite effect of what we are hoping for. Being patient in this case definitely pays big dividends! These things might not seem that big right now, but trust me, just like money slowly invested over time, you will find yourself with a huge “

These things might not seem that big right now, but trust me, just like money slowly invested over time, you will find yourself with a huge “nest egg” of relational rewards. This concept has produced overwhelming affection from my wife as well as the wives of other men who have put it into practice. These principles will become a part of who you are as a husband. You probably won’t remember to do every one of these every day, but hitting them all regularly will make them habits. You must not just “try this out” to see how it works. She’ll know something is up and it won’t produce anything but suspicion. B.E.S.T. works best when it is from the heart and initiated slowly. I use the letters B E S & T somewhere in almost all of my passwords…that way I am constantly reminded to do them. I hope this will be a blessing! You’re the BEST!

Copyright – Scott Murrish 2016